If I keep gaining weight like I am I’m gonna have to buy all new pants this fall. I will not be happy. But the gaining weight part is still a good thing -__-
I weigh 120lbs now.
Since being on the Lexapro my life has gotten so much better in so many areas. I’m even able to deal with my parents a lot better than I was in the past. But they still manage to get under my skin in so many ways. Some days I just can’t handle them. I really do want to get away from here. I would rather live away from them and be able to tolerate my parents than live with them and despise them.
I have so few fucks to give right now.
My mom, being the wisest human being in existence, decided quite a while back that she was sick of the litter box, so she threw it away. She continues to get angry at the cats, and blame me for it every single time they pee on something or shit on their clothes. WHAT DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN. I keep telling my mom, “You KNOW, if they had a place to GO, they wouldn’t crap in places you don’t WANT THEM TO CRAP.” And then she yells back at me in all her glorious wisdom, “NO THEY WOULD STILL GO WHEREVER THEY WANT.” IF THEY DO THEN IT’S YOUR FUCKING FAULT FOR TEACHING THEM TO DO THAT.
HOLY FUCKING SHIT.
I CAN’T DEAL WITH THIS.
I just want to relax on Sundays. I want to sleep in then watch TV, and lounge around. But I need to wake up early and go to church. I hate that I feel that way about it but I feel completely disconnected from church and the people and the lessons.
Last night I was thinking, “You know, it really isn’t that bad living with my parents. I don’t need to waste money on an apartment.” Then this morning I am reminded of why I NEED to get away from my parents. It’s my day off. I am lounging in my bed reading stuff on my tablet around 9:30-10am and my mom sticks her head in my room and goes “WHAT ARE YOU DOING LAYING IN BED. HOW ABOUT YOU GET DRESSED. THERE ARE THINGS TO DO. THE HOUSE NEEDS TO BE CLEANED.” How about fuck you? I put in my 40 hours this week, I paid for my gas and my groceries and my phone bill and insurance. The only places in this entire house that I use are my room, the bathroom, and the kitchen - all of which I clean up after myself. If I want to relax on my day off, by God, I am going to relax on my day off.
Or not. Because I don’t pay them rent - but I pay for everything else - they get to hold a big fucking black cloud over my head.
I’m probably going to end up sharing an apartment with my friend and her boyfriend because I am a goddamn adult.
I don’t think I’ll ever understand my boyfriend. He would rather be irate with me while forcing me to do what he thinks I should do than just doing what he wants to do.